ted-written-talk: to do or not to do

 some rise to challenges. others shyly back away.

invariably, we applauded those who rise to the occasions while scorned those who failed to do so. what's worrying is that there may be people out there who use the approval of others as a measurement on how they should live their lives. unsurprisingly, there are also others who are master manipulators using this as a tool to keep people stuck where it benefits them.

fortifying toxic positivity. 

they would tell these unfortunate souls that they lacked of resilience,  of perseverance or wrongly wanting instant gratification or whatever fancy words that may or may not reflect their "wisdom". in hindsight, these words may ring with truths and the layman may be trapped by this.

im here to tell you, that isn't always the case. 

for a start, you know yourself better than anyone else. 

i, for one, shamelessly admitting that im a person driven by passion and by passion of others.

whatever i do i will do my best, that's for sure. what will drive me to stay motivated and committed is passion.

however, how does one know that one isn't being an easy quitter instead?

to summarized a quote (inaccurately) from Angela Duckworth, the writer of Grit;

"you should give something some time. you may quit on something but it must not be on a bad day." 

meaning, one mustn't give up on an endeavor on a day where everything went wrong. even after all the trials and tribulations, if one couldn't find the urge to stay committed then gracefully back down.

and honestly, that is the best advice ever dispensed.

for the most part of my journey, i persevered, even on ugly days. 

howbeit, if deep down, a voice was screaming "this is not it", give it a listen. 

set the stage for that voice to demonstrate its cause. listen and evaluate. 

i've once asked some people i've met, "how do they not get bored with what they do?"

some replied; this is what they are passionate about. sure, there can be tough times, but those don't last and the best thing is, they enjoy it regardless.

others answered; "im too busy to get bored."

i've read somewhere that gave me this understanding. 

"it is better to work with people who are passionate rather than those who are only skilled but lacking in passion. passionate people would go above and beyond in what they pursue. skilled persons minus passion, not so much"

now, now...im not saying you should be of a one-track mind, sticking to only one thing and one thing only. there must be a scope for your passions. 

try drawing a radius of where your passion intersect. as an example, you like to debate on facts but you don't think you work best in court, perhaps find something that resonates in similar territory. a consultant perhaps? idk, go figure it out. whatever best for you.

in my case, i draw my confusion on a piece of paper. you read that right, i draw them down. 

i put pen to paper and it miraculously helped me seeing things better now that they are visible. 

which reminds me, i once taught a friend about a law concept and we were stuck on the same question for 4 hours. 

she was about to give up, thinking that it was a hopeless cause.

as for me, i was frustrated thinking that maybe i had it all wrong. then, i remembered my mother's teaching method; when something seems blurry in words, best to draw it out. so i did, stickman and all. lo and behold, she understood it completely and i was more than relieved. 

elated to be precise.

but, i digress. 

in short, the key takeaway from this noisy post is;

1. get to know yourself better.

2. don't quit on a bad day.

3. don't get easily manipulated by masters of manipulators cloaked in toxic positivity. 

in retrospect, if something doesn't sit right with you, maybe it is time to back out. 

others may scorn, giving you looks of disapproval or even be verbal about it.

don't mind them, they may proceed as such. 

as for you, decide what's best for you. even better, for Muslims, try solah istikharah or if it's on the spot decision, try reading this.

Allahumma khir li wa 'khtar li : O Allah, choose and select for me (the better of the two things)

to do or not to do? that is for you to figure out.

in all sincerity, good luck!

regretfully, 

the exhausted author.